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Faith in Nothing and Math
— Werner Erhard said, “There’s nothing I want people to learn from me. It’s what you discover that makes you powerful.” That distinguishes Sensei from Teacher. The Teacher wants to impart his or her...
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Locating Fear: Control is an Illusion
— In Sunday morning Aikido practice, we practiced iriminage, the finishing throw for the opponent as you “move into the attack and die with honor,” as the wise, French Sensei would say. Three other...
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Breathe and Let Go
— I have the unique privilege of Aikido sensei. That’s sensei with small “s”. Years ago, Sensei Dan told me that my Aikido evolves, becomes greater as I teach. He was right. As sensei I guide others on...
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Face Fear One Step at a Time
— Over 20 years ago, I was in the final stage of my Nidan test for 2nd-degree black belt in Aikido. I was dead tired. I had weathered over 40 minutes of throwing other black belts who are much bigger,...
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Getting into Emotional Shape
Embed from Getty Images — Men including fathers have been excused from emotional exercise and growth for long enough. It’s time to face our own responsibility to provide a healthy emotional...
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Men and Trauma: Most of Us Won’t Even Use the Word ‘Fear’
Dan Griffin believes,”This is where we have to start: by eradicating the stigma of men talking about abuse.” The topic of men and trauma has been under-discussed and ignored for far too long. We’ve...
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We Almost Drowned
— Every summer, there is a pontoon on the beach below our house. It’s a floating trampoline anchored to the bottom and you can swim out to it and clamber aboard. My son has decided this is the year he...
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Who Are You With Fear? Create from Nothing.
— Fear is part of the human experience. Obviously, looking at my fear is frightening. I don’t recreationally look at fear; unless forced to or having something at stake, I won’t casually inquire, “You...
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Connecting with Non-Damaging Aggressiveness
— Anger is one of the few emotions considered socially acceptable for men to express. It also “appears” to be the emotion that gets men into the most trouble as it can lead to aggression. I say...
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Overcoming Anxiety on the Journey to Mental Health
I will never forget this day for what happens over the next four hours. I will remember the anxiety of leaving my secure home. Where I knew all the loose floorboards and memorized all the sounds of...
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Emotional Intelligence is Not Enough
— A lot of people are pissed off right now. The level of abuse and sexual violation against women has become more clear every day. The US Border Patrol is using tear gas on refugees. Synagogues and...
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Why I Joined a Men’s Group
— In 2018 I finally decided to bite the bullet and my wallet, and joined an online men’s coaching group. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. “The only way to get beyond fear is with massive...
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They’re Coming for Our Balls!
— There is a common automaticity among humans to dissect statements and ideas in order to find hidden meanings. We read into things, believe we know “what they are really trying to say” and convince...
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Man Alive! A Man’s Path Through Fear
— Many men come to me with a desire to be fearless. They say things like: “I want to talk with women (in dating or relationship) without feeling anxious or afraid.” “I want to lead meetings without...
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Girl Scouts Cookies: The Art of Your Bravery
— The other day, I bought some Girl Scouts cookies from my friend Scott. Yes, it’s that time of year in the office and at your local supermarkets. Scott’s helping his daughter reach their “idealistic”...
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3 Profound Reasons We Feel Anxious
— Anxiety is a shapeless storm. It’s powerful precisely because it’s so hard to put a finger on what’s wrong. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to understand. The ways in which anxiety suddenly appears...
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Eradicate Fear and Hatred
— “Hate hath no rage like a man discarded.” David Christel asserts that white male nationalism personifies the fear of being forgotten and judged insignificant. What steps can we take to eradicate fear...
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Are You a Coward
— I ran for the sideline to get another helmet, desperate to not let the team down. An image of the fullback’s muscle-knotted arms protecting the football with simultaneous animal grunts and flash of...
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No One Is To Blame
In the depths of my clinical depression, I didn’t contemplate suicide. Instead, I would go to sleep at night praying that I would die before I awoke the next morning. Perhaps, choosing to live was...
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Fear: A Deep Mind Reflection
Recently I wrote an article entitled “Fear is Your Friend,” in which I explained the ways that fear, though an unpleasant emotion, is actually trying to help us by alerting us to a possible threat or...
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